Things have been so hard lately.. I am thinking about my sister more and more each day.
Lately I have not been trying to deal with any type of bull scrap from other people. I am sticking to my word more and more. I am trying to deal with the common stupidity that is always around me.
I find that music has been a motivator lately
Taylor Swift just came about a with new song that is about the Month of December..
My month of December was for lack of a better word... SHIITTY...
It was the month that I lost my oldest sister December 1, 2010.. It was the hardest thing that I have ever dealt with. I am still dealing with this...
I have never encounter this much hurt and pain ever in my life. I am trying to get back on track k but that track is not there anymore, because my sister is no longer on that track.
Sometimes i dont feel like being around people and sometimes I dont feel like talking.. but I do so in oder for people not thinking that there is something wrong. This is the most private I have ever been. This was something traumatic ... there is not a damn thing anyone can do about it.. so i hide it from them
I constantly think about Ashlee Simpson's song "Who is going to catch me when I fall"- I have already fell and I dont think anyone can catch me and I dont think anyone can.. this is going to come with time.
I have never blogged before and I dont know if i did this correctly but this is how I feel as of now.....
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